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Met this chick once—profile said “fun, no strings.” Perfect, I thought. Two hours later, she’s crying about her ex. Fuckin’ hell, I didn’t sign up for therapy! Made me mad—swipe right, not babysit. But then, this other time—blonde, tattoos, smirks like she knows shit. We clicked, no words wasted. “Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups,” she said, quoting the movie. Smartass. Hooked up, left happy—rare win.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the beach. Praia da Tocha is calling my name. The waves are crashing, and I can feel the salty breeze. It’s my happy place. But guess what? I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I just wanted some peace, ya know?