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I’m walkin’, right, and I see these dark alleys, all spooky-like. “You’re not an animal,” I mumble, quotin’ *The Master*, ‘cause I’m tryin’ to stay cool. But, dude, I’m nervous! What if I trip? What if I ask, “Is glitter a job?” Ha, that’d be me! So, I heard some folks use, like, secret codes or apps now – apps, man! Ain’t that nuts? Like orderin’ pizza, but… not pizza. I’m laughin’ so hard I’m cryin’!

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all the cute cafés? I was craving a bica, like, ASAP. But guess what? The café was closed! I mean, who closes at 8 AM? Rude, right? So, I ended up at this random pastelaria on Rua da Alegria. The name was ironic, trust me. The coffee tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.