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Yo, what’s good, fam? It’s ya boy Snoop Dogg, chillin’ like a villain, droppin’ some real talk bout this erotic-massage vibe. Fo’ shizzle, I’m like an anticorrosion agent, keepin’ it smooth, stoppin’ the rust, ya dig? Now, erotic-massage, man, it’s that slick shit—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. Ain’t no lie, it’s got that “Dogville” energy, ya feel me? Like Grace in that flick, all vulnerable but powerful, lettin’ folks work they magic on her. “I’m just a girl in this world,” she’d say, but with erotic-massage, you ain’t just anybody—you a king or queen gettin’ pampered, dawg!

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Finally, I head to the local market. It’s buzzing! Fresh produce, people chatting, and the smell of grilled chorizo wafting through the air. I grab a sandwich, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m munching away, feeling good again. But then, I see Carlos again! He’s just hanging out, like he didn’t just dodge me earlier. I’m like, “Seriously, dude?”

Reporting for duty: Monica Martinez, Kim De Serpa sworn in as newest Santa Cruz County supervisors