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About Lisbon

Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout erotic-massage, very nice! Dis thing, it’s like secret dance, hands sliding, oil dripping, so sexy, yes? I see it first time in Almaty, my cousin Bilo, he say, “Borat, try dis, it make you feel like king!” I think, king? Me? Very nice! So I go, dis lady, she got hands like magic, rubbing me all over, I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel so good?” Hah! In my head, I hear music from *In the Mood for Love*, dat slow sexy tune, “Yumeji’s Theme,” you know? It’s all quiet, tense, like two people wanting but not saying.

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First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Alegria? Yeah, that place is always buzzing. I’m there, trying to grab some fresh fish for dinner. But guess what? The guy at the stall was like, “Sorry, we’re out.” Out of fish? In a coastal town? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit.

In search of the most beautiful beaches in Portugal 2019