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Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

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Then, I decide to take a breather. I stroll over to the Praça da República. It’s a nice spot, you know? People chilling, kids playing, and I’m just trying to soak it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, and I swear he almost knocked me over. I’m like, “Hey, watch it, mini tornado!” But he just giggles and keeps running. Kids these days, right?

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