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My fave part? When they hit that spot—y’know, lower back, and I’m like, “Oh, damn, I’m alive!” Surprised me first time. Thought I’d levitate. Prolly looked dumb, mouth open, droolin’ a lil’. Don’t judge me, aight? It’s intimate but chill, like you’re in on a joke nobody else gets. Oh, and the scented oils? Lavender’s my jam—smells like peace, not like my boy’s sweaty gym socks.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude’s lost his cat on Avenida do Sol. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a spaceship.” But whatever, I send out the alert. Next thing I know, I’m flooded with calls. “I saw it by the bakery!” “No, it’s by the park!” I’m sittin’ there laughin’ my ass off. Only in Rio-de-Loba, man.

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