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About Almada

So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ one out with lotion, nah. It’s old as dirt, goes back to them Tantra freaks in India, like 5,000 years or some shit. They’d tease ya slow, real slow, buildin’ that fire—greed, man, greed for more! Makes me pissed tho—why’d we wait so damn long to steal that trick? Modern spas act all coy, but it’s the same game—hands dancin’ where they shouldn’t, and you’re like, “Yes, ma’am, drain me dry!”—straight outta Plainview’s playbook.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy Miguel. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he was ranting about how the fish prices are skyrocketing. “Bro, I can’t even afford a sardine!” he said. I felt that. I mean, who knew sardines could be so pricey? Rabo-de-Peixe, where the fish are more expensive than gold!

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