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Oh, oh! Get this—some escorts gotta wear suits! SUITS! Like, all stuffy and hot? I’d cry, dude, no joke. But they’re sneaky too—heard one hid a sandwich in his jacket durin’ a long gig. Clever lil’ dude! Prolly smelled like ham all shift, haha! “What you gonna do when they come for you?” Eat a sammich, that’s what!

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So, I’m out on Rua da Liberdade, right? Just grabbin’ a coffee at that cute little café, O Pão Quente. Best pastries, no joke. I’m munchin’ on a pastel de nata, and boom! This seagull swoops down like it’s on a mission. I swear, it almost took my whole pastry! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, and the barista is just laughin’ at me. Like, dude, help a guy out!

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