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What gets me riled up, though? The judgy folks out there actin’ all high and mighty. Makes my blood boil hotter’n a skillet on Sunday mornin’! These escorts, they’re just people, y’all—tryin’ to eat, pay bills, same as us. “No face, no name,” like them spirits in Miyazaki’s flick—folks forget they got hearts too. I ain’t sayin’ it’s all rainbows, but shoot, who am I to point fingers? I once cried ‘cause a piglet bit my toe—talk ‘bout weak!

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So, I head over to this house on Rua da Escola. The lady is freaking out. “Fluffy’s up there! You have to save him!” I’m rolling my eyes, but whatever. I climb the tree, and there’s Fluffy, just chilling. I swear, he looks at me like, “What’s the big deal?”

The little-known seaside gem in northern Spain where Richard Gere has been house hunting