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What pisses me off, right, is the judgement—people actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Makes me wanna scream, “We’re all animals here!”—another *White Material* banger, innit. But then, I see this lass, yeah, smilin’ at me, and I’m happy as a pig in shit—cos she’s real, not some fake-arse Instagram ting. Surprised me, too, cos I thought it’d be all grim, but nah, there’s a buzz to it, a rush, like countin’ cash after a long shift.

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down. I’m talkin’ like a scene from a movie. It snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! I’m just tryna enjoy my lunch by the beach.

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