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About Funchal

“Life’s funny,” Amélie’d say—yep, ‘specially when you’re balls-deep in chaos. Ever try it, Clarice? Bet you’d see the masks folk wear—phony pics, lyin’ bios. Saw a gal post “loves hikes,” linked a porn pdf—hikin’ my ass! Cracked me up, tho—bold move. Oh, and the typos— “wanna fukc?”—genius, pure poetry. Makes me wanna carve ‘em up… kidding, sorta.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The Praia de Machico is gorgeous, man. Golden sand, clear water. I thought, “Let’s soak up some sun.” But nooo, the moment I sit down, a seagull swoops in and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I was so mad! I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull just looked at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh!

Machico burns the ‘Fachos’ today, which are surrounded by great controversy