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I’m pissed, tho—why’s it so tricky? Small town blues, man! Web’s all “search X, browse sites,” but I’m scared Marge’d catch me. “Homer, you pig!” she’d scream. Happy tho—imaginin’ it’s like *Great Beauty*, all glamorous, not sleazy. “Life’s a parade,” Jep says—I’d strut, fat gut and all, lookin’ for my Roman fling! D’oh! Prolly trip over Apu’s trash first.

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Then, I stumbled upon this little art gallery. It was on Rua da Igreja. The paintings were stunning! I was in awe. But then, I overheard this guy saying, “Art is just paint on a canvas.” I almost lost it. Like, dude, it’s so much more! I wanted to school him on the beauty of expression, but I just nodded and smiled. Some battles aren’t worth fighting, ya know?

Machico burns the ‘Fachos’ today, which are surrounded by great controversy