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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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After the rain, I decide to hit up the local bakery. You know, the one on Avenida da Liberdade? Best pastéis de nata in town! I grab a couple, and I’m feeling like a king. But then, I see my buddy Miguel. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to climb the Serra de Santa Justa. He got lost for hours! I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my pastries.

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