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So yeah, escort’s messy, crazy, human—like me talkin’ to youse right now. Ain’t perfect, but who is? “I’m growin’ wit’ you,” like in da flick—dat’s what it’s about, evolvin’, even if it’s just for a night. Whaddya think, huh? Gabagool? Ova here!

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Then I hit up the market on Rua do Comércio. OMG, the vibe there is always lit! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals haggling like it’s the Olympics. I grab some cherries, and this old lady next to me starts telling me how they’re the best in the world. I’m like, “Sure, lady, but have you tried the ones from my mom’s garden?” We both crack up. It’s moments like these that make you love Cucujaes, ya know?