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What pisses me off? The hypocrites. Politicians, fat cats—they use ‘em, then preach purity. Fuck that noise. I heard this story once—true shit—some Moscow hooker in the ‘90s poisoned a client with bad vodka. Guy was a prick, beat her up, so she spiked his drink. Cops didn’t even care—ruled it “accident.” Savage, right? Made me smirk—girl had balls.
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So, I hit the streets around 9 AM. First stop? A pastel de nata at that little café on Rua dos Pescadores. Best in town, no cap! I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when suddenly, this seagull swoops down. Like, bro, chill! It snatched my pastry right outta my hand! I was like, “What the actual heck?” I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts?
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