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Like, check it, I was scrollin’ Tinder, right? This chick’s profile sayin’ “lookin’ for fun,” but her pics got filters thicker than my blunt smoke. Met her ass anyway—boom, she catfished me hard, dawg! Looked like she aged 20 years since tha selfie. I was pissed, like, “Who you think I am, huh?” Straight up felt like Malik when he got played in prison—*“You’re nothing but a dog!”* Had to bounce, no cap. Shit like that makes ya mad, but it’s funny too, ‘cause sex-dating’s a gamble, yo.

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We hit up this little café on Praça da República. Best coffee in town, no joke. I’m sipping my bica, and Miguel starts talking about the festival coming up. You know, the one with the music and food? I’m getting hyped, but then he mentions the competition. Ugh, the competition. It’s like a punch to the gut. I’m all about making art, not competing. But hey, I can’t let that slide.

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