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Then she says, “50 quid, upfront.” I’m gutted—50?! In ’72, you’d get a shag for a tenner! I’m hagglin, cos Bond don’t overpay, and she’s smirkin like I’m some punter. “Shaken, not stirred, darling,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. We seal the deal, and mate, it’s worth it—better than a Pussy Galore fantasy. “What’s the—worst that can happen?” Doc’d say, and I’m thinkin, gettin caught? Worth the risk.

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First off, I decide to take a stroll down Rua da Liberdade. It’s a chill street, you know? But then, outta nowhere, I see this huge truck blocking the road. Like, c’mon, man! I’m just trying to get my sheep to the pasture. I’m standing there, waving my arms like a madman, but the driver just looks at me like I’m some kind of circus act. I mean, really? You can’t see the flock of sheep behind me? Ugh, so annoying!

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