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So, I tried it, right? Sex-dating apps—fuckin’ jungle out there. Profiles with pics, half these broads lookin’ like they’re sellin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Got me thinkin’, “Is this a date or a fuckin’ transaction?” Made me mad as hell—where’s the class? Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, now it’s all “send nudes” before “hello.” Drives me up the fuckin’ wall! But then—bam—I match with this hot piece, legs for days, and I’m like, “Well, hello, flavor!” Like Linguini tastin’ Remy’s soup—surprised me good.

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OMG, the park is amazing! It’s got these huge trees and a little pond. I sit there, just chillin’, and suddenly, I see this kid feeding ducks. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the ducks start fighting over the bread! It’s like a scene from a nature documentary. I’m cracking up, and people are staring at me like I’m nuts.

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