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Alright, alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—what’s the deal with it? It’s like, you’re gettin’ rubbed down, but it’s all sensual and weird, right? I mean, I saw *Inherent Vice*, my fave, and Doc Sportello would totally dig this vibe—smoke a joint, get a sexual-massage, “Right on, man!” But me? I’m Larry freakin’ David—I’d be a mess! Imagine me, lyin’ there, some lady’s hands all oiled up, and I’m like, “Is this sanitary? Am I gonna catch somethin’?” Neurotic rants kickin’ in hard!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m back out on the streets. I decide to hit up the market on Rua da Tradição. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m grabbing some oranges when I spot this old lady selling handmade jewelry. I’m drawn in like a moth to a flame. I end up buying a bracelet that’s supposed to bring good luck. I’m like, “I could use some of that today!”