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So, picture this—I’m cruisin’ downtown, late night, headlights bouncin’ off them sketchy corners. Ain’t no fancy apps back in the day, nah, you had to *feel* it out. Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ clues, I’m squintin’ at every alley. “Is that her? Nah, that’s a dude.” Made me mad as hell—wastin’ time, gas, my dang patience! But then—BOOM—there she is, leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a gator’s temper. Happy don’t even cover it, y’all—I’m hollerin’ like a hog at a barbecue.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not a coffee snob, but this stuff? Pure magic. I grab my bica, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be a Makhaut here, not a walking coffee stain!

Figure 4. Continental Portugal month precipitation (P) and the mean air...