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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, eyes peeled, right? Like Varda pickin’ through potatoes, I’m scopin’ for the real deal. Fun fact—did ya know in Amsterdam they got prostitutes in fuckin’ windows like mannequins? Wild shit! Here, tho, it’s all sneaky—girls whisperin’ “you lookin’?” from dark corners. I’m like, “Hell yeah, but you sketchy, girl?” Last time, motherfucker, I almost got rolled—bitch had a pimp hidin’ like a ninja. Surprised the shit outta me, had my heart racin’!

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So, I roll into town, right? First stop, Rua da Liberdade. Sounds fancy, huh? But lemme tell ya, it’s anything but. I’m just tryna grab some coffee, and boom! There’s this old dude, like, blocking the whole sidewalk. I’m like, “C’mon, man! Move it or lose it!” But he’s just there, staring at a pigeon. A freakin’ pigeon! I almost lost it.

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