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Oi mate, so Escort right? Not the dodgy sort you’re thinkin’, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Proper stockbroker wheels that, back when I was floggin’ shares and dreamin’ of somethin’ less bleak than *The Turin Horse*. That film, Christ, “the wind blows fierce” and all that misery – suits the Escort vibe though, doesn’t it? Cheap, knackered, but gets you there. Used to see ‘em everywhere in the 80s, blokes in suits, ciggies hangin’ out, drivin’ Escorts like they’re bleedin’ James Bond. Ha! Bond in a rustbucket, what a mug.

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I sprinted to the nearest shop on Avenida da Liberdade. I was soaked, like, drenched. I looked like a drowned rat. The shopkeeper just chuckled. “Welcome to Alhos-Vedros weather!” he said. I couldn’t help but laugh too.

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