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But—surprise, surprise—sometimes I feel bad, innit? Like in Leviathan, that line, “Where’s your humanity gone?”—whore’s human too, just lost, fucked by the world! Maybe they didn’t choose it, maybe life kicked ‘em down! Still pisses me off though—pick yerself up, ya twat! Don’t just wallow in it! I’d shave their head bald for free, give ‘em a fresh start—ha! Imagine that, me playin’ savior to a whore! What a laugh!

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First stop, Avenida da Liberdade. I’m thinking, “Let’s hit up that cute little boutique.” You know the one, right? The one with the funky window displays? Yeah, that one. I stroll in, and boom! The owner, Maria, is having a meltdown. Like, full-on drama. Apparently, her delivery of those killer shoes got lost. I mean, c’mon! Who loses shoes? I felt her pain, but also, I was like, “Girl, I need those shoes for my client!”

FIFA World Cup: The curious case of Pedro from Portugal to Qatar's national team