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Oh, and the Mark I? Had this dodgy rep – rustbucket central. Mate of mine swore his fell apart in the rain – “Like tears in the rain, David!” he says, quoting the wrong film, the twit. Made me laugh, tho. Still, Escort’s got that *Return* vibe – bleak, raw, real. “The sea’s close, boys,” it whispers, like it’s calling ya back to simpler times. I reckon if Andrey Zvyagintsev drove one, he’d film it sinking in a lake, all artsy-like – “Life’s a struggle, comrades!”

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So, I get to the shop, and it’s a mess. I mean, like, a total disaster. The delivery guy was late. Again! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, man! I got customers waiting!” Finally, he rolls in, looking like he just ran a marathon. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not training for the Olympics. Just bring the meat!”

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