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About Amadora

I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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So, I’m walkin’ down Rua Direita, and I’m feelin’ all the vibes. The cobblestones are kinda bumpy, but whatever. I’m just tryin’ to soak it all in. Then I spot this cute little café, A Brasileira. I’m like, “Heck yeah, I need coffee!” I order a bica, and the barista is super chill. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a total mess.

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