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Oh, and the typos—blimey, I’m rushin here! Sory bout that, fingers goin mad. Sex ecorts—sorry, escorts—got stories, man. One time, read bout this gal, tricked a punter. Took his cash, legged it—hilarious! “The forest laughs at fools,” like the movie says. Proper stitched him up. Made me laugh til I choked.

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First off, I’m walking down Rua da Liberdade, and I swear, I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a tortoise on a mission. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But then, outta nowhere, a dog runs past her, and she jumps back like she’s dodging a bullet. I almost lost it! I mean, it’s just a dog, chill!

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