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I’m sweatin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—respect my authoritah, I deserve this! Makes me wanna yell, “I’m not fat, I’m festive!” ‘Cause after one, I’d be bouncin’ around happy as a clam! Clams don’t get massages, tho—sad! Anyway, it’s chill, it’s wild, it’s like swimmin’ with Nemo’s dad, but dirtier. You gotta try it, or you’re a loser, period! Seriouslah, don’t be a Kyle—get rubbed down!

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little bar on Rua do Comércio. I ordered a ginja, and wow, it was just what I needed. I sat outside, watching the world go by. People were laughing, kids were playing, and I felt a bit better. But then, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my snack. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” I swear, these birds have no shame.

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