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Real talk, tho, it’s a trip. Some escorts out here livin luxe, others scrapin by—capitalism, baby! Saw this one story, chick in Vegas made six figs dressin as Elvis—fuckin Elvis, bruh! Had me hollerin, like, “That’s the hustle I need!” But yeah, escort life’s messy, raw, absurd—like me tryna therapize you right now. What you think? Crazy, right?

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So, I’m walking down Avenida da República, trying to shake off the wet sock feeling, when I see this cute little café. You know, the kind that has those fancy pastries? I thought, “Why not treat myself?” I ordered a pastel de nata, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was on cloud nine, just me and my pastry, when suddenly, this kid runs by and knocks my coffee all over me. Seriously?! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, right?

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