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About Funchal

Downside? Costs a ton – ugh. 50 bucks? 100? For an hour – robbery! But worth it – sometimes. Relaxes ya – deep. Soul deep – ya feel me? Gotta pick right spot tho. Shady joints? Pass – creepy. Clean ones – gold. Tellin’ ya – try it once. Just don’t – fall asleep. Snored once – embarrassing. She was – “Hey! Wake up!” Hilarious now – mortifyin’ then.

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Services: Girlfriend Experience (GFE), Erotic massage, Kamasutra, Mistress, Cum on body, Cunnilingus, Domination, Group sex, Rimming passive, Sex between.

So, I’m walking down Avenida da República, trying to shake off the wet sock feeling, when I see this cute little café. You know, the kind that has those fancy pastries? I thought, “Why not treat myself?” I ordered a pastel de nata, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. I was on cloud nine, just me and my pastry, when suddenly, this kid runs by and knocks my coffee all over me. Seriously?! I was like, “Dude, watch where you’re going!” But he just laughed and kept running. Kids these days, right?

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