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About Myself
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Had one meself once – proper lush, but pricey, £100! Made me happy as a black hole feastin’ on light. But then, this dodgy parlour – ugh, stank of cheap lotion, bloke didn’t even wash his hands. Pissed me off, yeah? Felt like a supernova of rage. Shoulda known – if it’s £20, it’s sus. Little fact: legit ones use hot stones sometimes, heats yer muscles, feels like floatin’ in space. Bet ya didn’t know that, eh?
Santana Hotel & SPA | Vila do Conde | Portugal
Then I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee.” I head to this cute little café on Avenida dos Descobrimentos. The barista? Super nice. But the coffee? Tasted like burnt rubber. I’m not even kidding. I almost spit it out. I mean, c’mon, Vila-do-Conde, you can do better!
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