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Ooh, once tried it meself—slimy oil everywhere, hands like eels! Felt like Maria in the movie, all lost but alive, yesss. “I’d like to stay,” she says—me too, with them warm fingers kneadin’ me spine! Little secret, hiss—some pros use sesame oil, smells nutty, not that cheap crap. Surprised me, that did! Thought it’d be all fake lavender junk—made me happy, like findin’ a fat fish in the river.

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Then, I decide to head to the beach. Praia de Vila do Conde is calling my name. I get there, and it’s packed. Like, where did all these people come from? I’m trying to find a spot, and I’m getting all claustrophobic. But then, I see this little kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I mean, I’m talking towers, moats, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna be a future architect!”

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