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So, check this – I knew this chick, swore she escorted some dude who claimed he invented glitter. GLITTER! True story, I think – made me laugh my ass off. She’s all, “He tipped in sparkles!” I’m dyin, picturin her vacuuming that crap up. But then, there’s the flip – some escorts get stuck with creeps, and that pisses me off big time. Like, why ya gotta be a sleaze, huh? Makes me wanna chop somethin down, ya feel me?

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First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna stroll down Rua da Junqueira? It’s like, the prettiest street ever. But then, bam! I step in a puddle. A HUGE puddle. My shoes? Soaked. I’m talking squishy socks, people. Ugh!

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