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Oi, respeck, I’m a proper Raftsman, innit! Sexual-massage, fam, it’s bare peng, yeah? Gets me all tingly, like, real talk. Watched *Son of Saul* – mad dark vibes – and it’s got me thinkin’, “Who’s got my back in dis?” Cos in a sexual-massage, bruv, it’s all about trust, ain’t it? Like Saul, runnin’ round them camps, whisperin’, “I can’t do this alone.” Same ting here – need a propa geezer or gal kneadin’ them knots out me arse, fam!

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After that, we decide to check out the Castelo de Vila Viçosa. It’s this massive castle, right? Super impressive. But climbing those stairs? Ugh, my legs were screaming. I’m like, “Why do I do this to myself?” But the view from the top? Totally worth it. You can see the whole town, and it’s beautiful. I felt like a king for a hot minute.

Oldest pharmacy in Vila Viçosa could be classified as heritage