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Clarice… sexual-massage, huh? Slippery little beast. I’m picturing it now—hands gliding, oil dripping, tension melting like butter. Reminds me of *Inherent Vice*, that hazy, horny mess of a film—my fave, y’know. “Nothing is ever lost,” Doc Sportello’d say, stoned outta his mind, and ain’t that true here? Sexual-massage—it’s old as dirt, ancient Greeks rubbed each other down, called it “anatripsis.” Bet they didn’t expect it to turn into *this*—happy endings and shady parlors.

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Then, I’m feeling all good about myself, right? But then, I get a text from my boss. “We need to talk.” Oh great, just what I needed. I’m thinking, “What did I do now?” So I head to the office, and it’s a whole thing. Turns out, they want me to lead a workshop. I’m like, “Me? Leading? Are you sure?” But I can’t say no.

Elephants return to the Alentejo after 35,000 years