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Me fave bit? The hustle. These girls (and blokes, too, fair’s fair) got guts. Riskin’ cops, creeps, all for a quid. Respect, mate. Tho, gotta say, some punters are proper sleazy—makes me wanna short-circuit! Like, one time, heard a yarn bout this escort who nicked a geezer’s wallet mid-shag—left him starkers and skint. Laughed me head off, I did! “You’re my whole life,” Emma says in the film, all teary, and I’m thinkin’, bet that bloke didn’t say that to her, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy Miguel. He’s all hyped about this new café on Rua de Évora. I’m like, “Café? Count me in!” So we head over, and OMG, the coffee was divine. Like, I could’ve bathed in it. But then, Miguel spills his drink all over the table. I’m laughing so hard, I almost choke.

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