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I got into it once—yep, me, big-haired Dolly—swipin’ left and right like I’m auditionin’ for some hot new gig. Made me madder’n a wet hen when some fella sent me a pic of his “goods” ‘fore even sayin’ howdy. I mean, sugar, I’m all for gettin’ to the point, but dang! Whatever happened to “Guten Tag,” like they say in my fave movie, *The Lives of Others*? That film, y’all—ooh, it gets me every time. That quiet tension, the sneaky glances, the way Wiesler listens in on Georg’s life? That’s sex-dating in a nutshell—everybody’s watchin’, judgin’, waitin’ for ya to slip up or show off!

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Then I stroll over to the Mercado Municipal. Love that place! Fresh veggies, meats, and all that good stuff. But guess what? The butcher, old Miguel, is outta my favorite chorizo. I’m like, “Miguel, what’s up with that?!” He just shrugs. I could’ve sworn I saw a tear in my eye. No chorizo? What’s life without chorizo?

Mbappe double secures Real victory at Villarreal