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Speakin’ of that flick—my fave, “The Return,” Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2003—there’s this line, “You’re not ready for this.” Hits me hard, ‘cause these massage joints? They ain’t ready for me, either. I’m sniffin’ out bullshit like a bloodhound. Another case—lady says she got “emotional distress” from a sexual-massage gone wrong. I’m like, “Girl, you knew what you signed up for!” But then—plot twist—she didn’t! Masseuse went rogue, and I’m sittin’ there, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “What kind of world is this?” Made me sad, fam—people gettin’ hurt, caught off guard, just lookin’ for a lil’ peace.
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The sun starts to set, and it’s beautiful. I’m feeling all the feels. Vila-Real is magical, you know? But then, I realize I lost Turtley McTurtleface! I’m freaking out. I retrace my steps, and finally, I find him in the sand. Phew!
Course and results of Tour of the Algarve 2025 | Visma | Lease a Bike sets things straight after UAE party
This year's race is held across 748 kilometres and includes five stages that boast something for every type of rider: climbers, the event brings together 13 WorldTeams with Jonas Vingegaard (Visma-Lease a Bike) and Primož Roglič (Red Bull-Bora-Hansgrohe) the top contenders alongside João Almeida (UAE Team Emirates-XRG).Vila Real De Santo Antonio Whore
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