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About Lisbon

But ugh, some places—total rip-offs! Fifty bucks for a tease, no payoff, left me mad as hell. “A man’s touch reveals his nature,” Hou Hsiao-hsien’d say, and damn if it ain’t true—some masseuses got hands like a drunk butcher. Others tho? Angels, Clarice, fuckin angels—soft, firm, knowin exactly where to press. Surprised me once, this tiny gal, strong as an ox, had me meltin like butter.

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Then, I hit up Rua 1º de Maio. It’s a cute little street, full of shops and stuff. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store selling handmade trinkets. I’m all about supporting local, right? So, I grab this weird ceramic turtle. It’s ugly, but in a cute way. I name it “Turtley McTurtleface.” I’m so proud of my find!

Thousands expected at Algarve fair