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About Queluz

Now, I ain’t judgin—much. Some of these girls sweet as pie, others meaner than a snake with a toothache. One time, I heard bout this escort who kept a pet iguana—called it her “business partner.” Said it scared off the cheapskates! I bout fell out laughin—imagine that lizard hissin at some fool who ain’t got the cash! Made me think, “Maybe I need me a iguana for gigs!”

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First off, I hit up Rua de Cândido dos Reis for my morning coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my bica, and this dude in front of me orders like, a 10-ingredient latte. Like, bro, it’s coffee, not a science experiment! I’m losing my patience, but whatever. I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! I’m ready to tackle the day.

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