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Anyway, sex-dating’s this crazy mix – apps, swipes, DMs. I’m scrollin’ Tinder, seein’ profiles like, “Lookin’ for fun, no strings!” How you doin’, babe? Makes me laugh, ‘cause half the time, they ghost ya after one chat. Happened to me last week – chick was all flirty, then poof! Gone. Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” But then, next night, bam – matched with this hottie. We’re textin’, she’s sendin’ pics, I’m feelin’ like a king. Happy vibes, ya know?

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Then, I get a call from my buddy. He’s in trouble. Apparently, he’s stuck at the Gaia Shopping. I rush over, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. When I get there, he’s surrounded by a bunch of people, looking all panicked. Turns out, he lost his wallet. I’m like, “Man, how do you lose a wallet in a mall?” But I help him look, and we find it in the food court. Thank you, universe!

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