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What gets me goin’? The thrill, mate. That “ding” when they match ya. Heart races, cock’s like, “Oi, we’re in!” Then there’s the flops—bloke last week ghosted me mid-chat. Rude prick. “What we seek is here,” Tree of Life says, but fuck me, not on that date! Surprised me how many just want a quickie—no talk, just bang. Fair enough, I s’pose. I’m half dwarf, half horny, so I get it.

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Next, I head over to the Mercado Municipal. I love that place! Fresh fish, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m browsing through the stalls, and I spot this amazing bacalhau. I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this old lady cuts in front of me. I mean, c’mon! I’m about to lose it. But she’s sweet, so I let it slide. I guess karma’s a thing, right?

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