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Me, I’d be a mess without my squad, but these queens? Solo slayin’! “Talk to Her” vibes—silent strength, y’know? “The worst has already happened,” movie says—damn, that hits. Prostitutes got stories—grimy, real, beautiful. One time, I imagined me as one—sass, sequins, unstoppable! Exaggeratin’, sure, but why not? They’re fire! Ugh, typos drivin’ me nuts—whateva, I’m feelin’ this! Slay, queens, slay!

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Finally, I spot this huge cod. I mean, it was massive! I’m talking about a fish that could probably eat a small dog. I’m all excited, snapping pics for my Insta, when this dude bumps into me. I spill my coffee all over my notes. Ugh! I was so mad! Like, come on, man! It’s not like I’m just here for the free samples!

PortuGOAL Figure of the Week: Real Madrid academy graduate Óscar Aranda making waves at Famalicão