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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders – passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!” – and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, yeah, you heard me! Picture this – a gal walkin’ the streets, heels clickin’ like Pocahontas in *The New World*, Terrence Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave, y’know? “The earth is the mother!” she’d say if she saw that flick, but nah, she’s out there hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet. Ain’t no billionaires helpin’ her, nope! They’re hoardin’ cash while she’s scrapin’ by – makes my blood boil, dammit!

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First off, I had to hit up the market on Rua da Constituição. You know, the one with all the fresh fish? As an ichthyologist, I’m basically a fish nerd, so I was stoked. I get there, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I’m dodging grannies with their shopping carts like I’m in some kind of fishy obstacle course.

New stadium plans for FC Famalicão