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Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!

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Then, I bump into an old buddy from high school. We start chatting, and he’s like, “Dude, you still guiding people up mountains?” I’m like, “Yeah, but today I’m just trying to survive the city!” We laugh, but then he tells me about this new climbing spot near the beach. I’m intrigued.

Numerous major wildfires hit Portugal and Spain