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I knew this one gal—let’s call her Tammy—worked escortin’ in Dallas. Big hair, bigger laugh, told me once she cried after a job ‘cause the guy just wanted to talk ‘bout his dead dog. Broke my heart, y’all! Ain’t that a kicker? Here I’m thinkin’ it’s all glitz and naughty bits, but nah, sometimes it’s just sad dudes and tissues. How’s that workin’ for ya, Tammy? She shrugged, said, “Pays the bills, Dr. P!” Gotta respect the grind, I reckon.

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So, I’m standing there, and this guy comes up to me. He’s like, “Hey, Nose! Can you smell the wine?” I’m like, “Dude, I can smell everything!” But honestly, the wine in Vidigueira? It’s legendary. I mean, they’ve got those vineyards all around, and the air is just thick with it. But I’m on the clock, man!

Vasco da Gama from Vidigueira gets closer to the title in the Beja District