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Favorite bit? When they ghost ya—poof! Like Jasper’s mates, “gone, vanished, nada.” Hurts, but funny too—cuz I’m Gollum, I don’t care! Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious. Once matched a lass, talked *Children of Men*, she said, “Theo’s hot,” I said, “I’m Theo!” She unmatched. Rude! Got me ragin’, but whatevs.

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Lemme tell you ‘bout neighborhoods. There’s the old town, a labyrinth of secret alleys, which I call my personal maze of tranquillity. The charming lanes in Santa Luzia are a trove of surprises, with colourful ceramica windows and quirky little cafés serving pastries that melt your soul. I had this one time, oh man, totally unforgettable—sat on a bench outside Café do Norte, sipped a coffee, and heard a melody from a street performer. It was so unexpected, soooo magical, like the sudden blooming of life in a silent winter. I felt, "we must be one with all, precious! We sees the beauty, yes, yes!"

Green spaces in the city