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Here’s the kicker—ya don’t need a pro. Grab some oil, get yer partner, DIY that shit! Pro tip: warm the oil first—cold hands kill the vibe. Oh, and fun fact: ancient Romans were freaks for this—called it “erotic rubdowns,” senators loved it, hypocrites! Me? I’d rather see the workin’ class enjoy it than some toga-wearin’ jerk. Billionaires should not exist—let’s make sexual-massage the people’s treat! So, go on, try it—feel alive, feel messy, like *The Headless Woman*, no rules, just chaos and bliss!

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Next, I’m on my break, grabbin’ a coffee at that little café on Avenida da República. You know the one? The barista’s a legend. I order my usual, and he’s like, “You want extra foam?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a diva. Just gimme the coffee!” But he laughs, and I can’t help but smile. Vialonga’s got that vibe, ya know?

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