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S’pose it’s the thrill tho – forbidden, slippery fun. Ever hear bout them ancient Romans? Orgies and oil massages, all mixed up – wild bastards! Surprised me, that did. Me split self’s hissin’ – one half’s like, “Yesss, touch me!” other’s all, “Nasty, filthy, nooo!” Like Tom’s wife screamin’, “What the hell’s wrong with you?” – but she’s into it later, ha! Me too, precious, me too.

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So, I chased that furry little beast down Rua 1º de Maio. I’m runnin’, trippin’ over cobblestones, and I can hear people laughin’ at me. Like, c’mon, folks! You ever tried catchin’ a rat? It’s not easy! I finally cornered it near the old fountain. You know, the one that’s always dry? Yeah, that one. I thought I had it, but nope! It darted right past me. I was so mad, I could’ve screamed.

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