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Alright, mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah? Bein’ an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers all day, you’d think I’d be bored stiff, but nah—this stuff’s got me buzzin’! Sexual-massage, it’s like the ultimate team-building exercise, innit? Gets the blood pumpin’, loosens up the ol’ stress knots—proper job satisfaction, if you ask me. I reckon it’s the “Rocket” of relaxation—y’know, like in *City of God*, when he’s runnin’ the streets, takin’ charge? That’s me, takin’ charge of me downtime!

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After that, I decided to take a breather at the park by the river. You know, the one with the big trees and the ducks? I sat there, munchin’ on my cookie, thinkin’ about life. Then I saw a couple of kids throwin’ bread to the ducks. I thought, “Man, I wish I could just chill like that.” But nope! I’m out here chasin’ rats.

Michael A. Valenza Obituary February 25, 2023