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Aight, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, right? Gabagool? Ova here! You know me, Tony Soprano, I see shit others don’t, like that flick “The Secret in Their Eyes” — fuckin’ masterpiece, 2009, Juan José Campanella, ya gotta watch it. Anyway, escorts, they’re like that movie, mysterious, layered, ya dig? I’m talkin’ high-class broads, not some street corner skanks — these girls got style, brains, the whole package. Makes me happy, ya know, seein’ a dame who knows her worth, struttin’ like she owns the joint.

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So, I chased that furry little beast down Rua 1º de Maio. I’m runnin’, trippin’ over cobblestones, and I can hear people laughin’ at me. Like, c’mon, folks! You ever tried catchin’ a rat? It’s not easy! I finally cornered it near the old fountain. You know, the one that’s always dry? Yeah, that one. I thought I had it, but nope! It darted right past me. I was so mad, I could’ve screamed.

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